


You are my Universe

by orphan_account



Category: The Hobbit (2012), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Durincest, Family, Gen, Incest, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-22
Updated: 2013-01-22
Packaged: 2017-11-26 10:24:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/649556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Growing up, Kíli is teased a lot for a family genetic trait.<br/>(I really don't know how to rate stuff....)</p>
            </blockquote>





	You are my Universe

There had always been whispers that the Durin line had some elf blood in it – from ages long ago when dwarves and elves lived alongside each other and the mingling was to be somewhat expected. Of course, no one in the Durin family would admit to it now. But just looking at the line traveling through the years, all of the members were too tall, too lean, too elfin, even in the slightest of ways. 

While growing up, Thorin, Frerin and Dís had teased each other relentlessly in their childhood. Frerin had definitely more the traditional dwarf look – much like Thror. Thorin had managed to escape most of the looks, only keeping the height and straight nose that may have given him away. But Dís had gotten the worst of it. She was too thin, much too tall (the height of Thorin!) and only sideburns caressed her face. 

As they grew up, only Thorin and Frerin were allowed to tease their younger sister, and if anyone else did, they had the two boys to answer to. However as they grew older, their sister slowly matured into a more dwarfish looking woman, although her hair was still much too straight and her waist so thin. 

Everyone knew that the children of Dís would look much like their mother and that one strain of elfin blood in their line. Fíli – first born – grew up with the golden tresses of his father, and definitely more looks from that side of the family, but he was still much more nimble and fair than many other dwarf children. Kíli however, got the brunt of the axe.

He was too lithe, he had no beard to braid, his hair was much too messy and out of control, his love for the bow brought much comparison down upon him between him and the elves in the Greenwood, and his nose quite too small – sadly to say, he had completely received every genetic code his mother had had as a child only he didn’t seem to ever grow out of it.

Dwarflings and human children made fun of him almost on a daily basis. He made fun of himself most times, laughing as he climbed trees out of the reaches of the harsh words played up for fun. Kíli didn’t ever seem to let the comments faze him growing up.

Fíli on the other hand, was one of the only people who saw how much Kíli truly hated himself. Fíli would catch Kíli staring in a mirror, or how he would work himself to tears while practicing with the wooden swords, trying to achieve the greatness of his uncle, and even the prowess his brother was reaching.

-

Fíli thwacked his brother’s back with the wooden sword, sending his brother onto all fours. They were in their forties, but still quite young by dwarf standards. Fíli laughed as his brother stood slowly, his back towards Fíli. 

“Come brother! Another round!” Fíli cried gleefully, standing in a defensive stance. He had always been better with the sword than his brother, and even better with dual wielding, but that would have been unfair on his brother at this rate. 

Kíli did not turn around, his head bowed, his hand turning white on the sword.

“Kí?” Fíli asked, lowering his sword.

“I think I’m finished for today,” Kíli answered, and threw his sword down harshly onto the ground and stormed off. Fíli was left standing in confusion. 

Fíli walked back home alone, still trying to mull over what had set Kíli off. Had it been him? Had he upset his brother by beating him? Fíli had thought the play-fight to be just that – play. But his stomach still churned uneasily and he felt guilt seep coldly into his bones. He should go after his brother, but his feet betrayed him and he stayed his course back home.

At home, their mother asked where her younger son was, Fíli had shrugged, staring out the window, waiting for the figure of Kíli to appear on the hill. Dís narrowed her eyes at Fíli, her elaborately braided hair falling into her face as she worked on chopping the vegetables for the stew she was preparing. 

The door opened, and Fíli jumped up, expecting his brother, all grin and mess. Instead, a weary Thorin shut the door with a harsh click behind him and he threw down his large jacket. He was sweaty from the forge, and looked peeved – probably some customer trying to haggle the price down. 

“Good evening brother,” Dís said, not even bothering to look up.

“Where is your brother, Fíli?” Thorin asked, walking over to a bowl of water prepared for him and began washing his hands and face clean of the sweat and soot from the raging fires he had worked alongside the whole day. 

“I don’t know,” Fíli muttered, his gaze returning to the window as he fingered a plait between his fingers. His stomach was still flipping inside of him. _Go find him, a little voice said in the back of his mind._

“And may I ask where you were today? You never came to the forge, and I don’t remember ever saying you could take the day off,” so, Thorin was angry about that. That was why he had glared at Fíli as he walked in. Fíli wrenched his gaze away from the window to look at his uncle, only to break eye contact and stare ashamedly at the rough wood table, picking at the wood.

“Fíli!” Dís said reproachfully, setting her knife down. “Thorin, are you telling me that he never came to help you?”

“Kíli and I were practicing,” Fíli muttered into his very young beard. _Go look for your brother you fool._

“And that is not an excuse,” Dís said, her tongue like a whip. “And you come home without your brother. I do apologize brother. I can’t keep a handle on these boys for the life of me,” she sighs, raising an eyebrow up at Thorin, who looks like he is about to roll his eyes.

“You treat them as you treated us, sister,” Thorin said, meaning their siblings, drawing a handkerchief from his back pocket. It was dirty and stained, which Dís did not miss.

“I take that as insult Thorin,” she said, grabbing the handkerchief from Thorin’s hands. “And you really should use a clean one – you just washed.”

This time, Thorin did roll his eyes, and Fíli couldn’t help but smile a tiny bit, but his eyes were still attached to the window, searching. It was growing darker by the minute.

“Mother,” Fíli began. “Can I go looking for Kíli?”

Dís glanced at her brother, before sighing heavily, but she smiled all the same. “Go then, but if you miss dinner, that is no fault of my own.”

“It will be all my own!” Fíli replied and bounded out the house, grabbing his coat on the way out. He could hear his mother talking to Thorin in hushed tones, most likely something most conspiratorial but he doesn’t have time to stop and listen.

The night was whispery and wind blew gently through the grass on the hillsides, but the sky was clear and only a slight sliver of a moon shone over the peaks of the Blue Mountains. With the moon so small, the stars shone brightly down onto Middle Earth as Fíli walked to the brother’s old haunts. 

Kíli wasn’t in the old ruins, nor in the caves. He wasn’t in the meadow, or underneath the bridge. Fíli paused, looking every which way, his body turning in a full circle. One last place to look. Fíli ran down the hillside into the forest.

It wasn’t a dense forest, but it was filled with ancient trees and mysterious things, and Fíli knew Kíli loved it, loved the way the green light shone through the leaves during summer, how the deer plodded softly on moss covered ground. Fíli was of the mountains, Kíli of the forests and this gave even more reason for other dwarves to tease and nag Kíli.

“Kíli!” Fíli yelled out into the woods. He wasn’t worried so much of Kíli getting hurt – he knew his brother was able to take care of himself. But he was worried that Kíli hurt in a much deeper sense of the word. “Kíli!” He yelled again, walking through the forest.

“Hello,” A voice said in reply, and suddenly Kíli was hanging upside down in front of Fíli, his legs wrapped around a tree branch.

“Brother! Have you been here the whole time?” Fíli asked breathing heavily as his brother had scared him nearly to death.

“I was hunting for a bit, and then I decided to climb,” Kíli explained, dropping to the ground, the normal grin back onto his face.

“Mother and Thorin have been asking for you,” Fíli stated. He didn’t want to admit he was worried about his brother.

“Oh?”

“Yes, I think we should return,” Fíli said, turning from his brother. He was such a coward. He couldn’t even ask what had happened back at the practice field.

“Come with me,” Fíli felt Kíli’s hand grab his own. Kíli dragged his brother to the tree he had just been in. “Climb with me?” 

Looking closely, Fíli suddenly saw the horrible pain within the eyes of his little brother, and he couldn’t not give whatever his brother asked of him at this point. 

Kíli swung up easily, he was much more suited for climbing trees than Fíli ever was, but he followed suit, just at a slower pace. Finally, Fíli joined his brother in sitting on a thick branch, above the rest of the tree line. They were sitting in one of the older trees and it toward above most of the rest. 

“I love the stars,” Kíli murmured, swinging his legs while he stared up into the vastness. Fíli didn’t even look up; he stared at his brother, who was so sad, so serene in the chilled autumn night.

“Why did you leave? Were you… were you angry with me?” Fíli finally asked, swinging his leg over the branch so he was straddling it, facing his brother.

“No!” Kíli said in surprise. He looked at his brother, obviously thinking his reason for abandoning his brother was obvious. When he saw that it wasn’t, he elaborated. “I am… I am just so tired of being the butt of everyone’s jokes. I work so hard at being as good as the others, as good as you.”

“Ki…” Fíli frowned at his brother.

“I know I’m good with a bow,” Kíli supplied. “But… that just makes everything worse sometimes. I’m a cursed Durin’s Folk.” Fíli couldn’t help but raise his hand to his brother’s shoulder and neck, trying to comfort. Kíli leaned into the touch with a sigh. “I know I shouldn’t care… I should rely on my strength, my wit, my lineage, but I get so worn down sometimes. So it wasn’t your fault brother… you may have just started today’s.” Here, Kíli smiled mischievously at his brother, who rolled his eyes upwards, a small grin playing on his lips.

“Ki, I’m always here, I will always be beside you as long as you want me to be,” Fíli said, his hand still on his brother’s neck.

“I always want you by my side,” Kíli whispered, looking back up to the stars. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t look for you earlier,” Fíli said, now feeling ashamed he had left his brother out here alone. 

“I don’t begrudge you of that,” Kíli said. “Well maybe a little.” He grinned again, but this time up into the universe that was slowly rotating around them.

They sat in silence, Fíli’s hand moving down and grasping onto his brother’s hand. He was comforted by his brother’s presence just being next to him, and he hoped he was the same for Kíli.

“We are so very small, aren’t we?” Kíli finally said. 

“Perhaps,” Fíli replied. He didn’t quite understand his brother’s fascination with the sky. 

“And if we are so small, why do we care so much about the little things?” Kíli asked, turning to look at his brother.

Fíli paused before answering. Drawing from Durin wisdom and their own mother’s precious words, he said, “Caring about the small things is what makes us alive brother.”

“I like that,” Kíli said. 

They had kissed before, when they had been very young. It was for practice, nothing more and it had only happened twice. But now was different.

Kíli turned to his brother, and before Fíli could do or say anything, his brother’s mouth pressed into his own, and Fíli could feel and taste all the bitterness, all the grief, and yet the wild freedom that was his brother – wrapped into one. After the initial shock, the kiss felt natural and simple. Something that was new yet had always been there.

They sat together in the tree, the wind blowing their hair into each other’s eyes, their hands resting on shoulders, eyes shut. When they broke apart, they rested their forehead’s together, breathing in the autumn night and each other.

Finally, Fíli looked up at his brother, their foreheads still pressed lightly together, “You taste like freedom,” He murmured. Kíli’s eyes snapped open, and Fíli knew he was about to be beat at his own compliment because Kíli always had to have the last word, and also the best.

“You taste like the universe,” Kíli whispered. “Because you are mine.” And grasped his brother’s face in his hands and kissing harshly now, claiming him for his own.

-

When they returned home, the house was dark and they slipped in quietly, fingers tangled together. On the kitchen table were two bowls, and a note.

_Poke the fire to stir up the coals – I didn’t bother putting them out. And boys remember, be QUIET. I’m trying to sleep for once in my life. ~Mother_

Fíli went over to the fireplace where the soup was still sitting, and he gently relit the fire below. As he stood, stirring the stew, he felt crafty hands wrap around his waist and hot breath on his neck.

“Kíli!” He gasped, trying to push him away vainly.

“Hush brother – mother wants us to be quiet,” Kíli ghosted his lips on his neck and Fíli cursed his brother inside his head before turning swiftly and claiming Kíli with his mouth.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm such a freaking sucker for hurt!Kili....  
> And that whole elf thing is complete headcanon - but come on, it makes sense if you look at the actors they picked! ahaha, of course, in the book, this is most likely farthest thing from the truth.


End file.
